5 Questions to Ask a Financial Advisor in the First Meeting

By Kevin Luu, Co-Founder and Chief Learning Officer. Reviewed on 2026-09-30.

The five questions to ask a financial advisor in the first meeting are: Are you a fiduciary on every account, and how are you paid? What will we pay in total dollars each year? How do you handle our equity compensation and our California or Washington taxes? What do you do yourself, and what do you hand off? How will you work with our family, including our kids? For a two-income household earning $750k or more, the answers to questions two and three usually decide the hire.

Most first meetings are run by the advisor. They show a deck, a sample portfolio and a performance chart. That tells you little. The questions below shift the meeting to the things that cost a high-earning W-2 family real money: conflicts, fees that grow with your assets, and tax mistakes on RSUs and options.

Question 1: Are you a fiduciary on every account, and how exactly are you paid?

“Fiduciary” can mean less than it sounds. Some advisors are registered both as investment advisers and as brokers. They can act as a fiduciary when managing your portfolio, then work under a different standard that is not a fiduciary duty when selling you an annuity or insurance policy in the same meeting. Ask for a plain answer: fiduciary at all times, on all accounts, in writing?

Then ask how they are paid. The three common models are:

• Fee-only: paid only by you (a percentage of assets, a flat fee, or hourly). No commissions.
• Fee-based: a fee from you plus commissions on products they sell.
• Commission: paid by product providers when you buy.

You do not have to take their word for it. Every SEC-registered adviser and broker-dealer serving retail investors must give you a short relationship summary called Form CRS, which covers services, fees, conflicts and disciplinary history. You can also look up the firm’s Form ADV and any disciplinary record on the SEC’s Investment Adviser Public Disclosure site and FINRA’s BrokerCheck. Read these before the meeting, then ask about anything that surprised you. Our article on how many advisors are actually fiduciaries explains the labels in more detail.

Question 2: What will we pay in total dollars per year, now and in ten years?

Ask for one number in dollars, not a percentage. Include the advisory fee, fund expenses, and any platform or trading costs. Then ask how that number changes as your assets grow.

This matters more for your family than for most. A household with large RSU grants can see its investable assets double in a few years. Under an asset-based fee, the bill doubles too, even if the work does not.

Worked example: asset-based fee vs. flat fee

Assumptions (illustrative, not a quote from any firm): a Bay Area couple, both W-2, $950,000 combined income, $2,500,000 in taxable and retirement accounts today, adding about $250,000 a year from vested RSUs and savings, with 5% annual growth.

Neither model is wrong. An asset-based fee can make sense if the advisor is doing more each year. The point is to see the dollar figure before you sign, and to ask whether unvested RSUs, your 401(k) at work, or your home equity are counted. Some firms bill on held-away assets and some do not. For typical ranges, see what fee-only planners cost.

Question 3: Walk me through our next RSU vest. What tax will we owe, and when?

This is the best test of whether an advisor understands your situation. A good answer is specific. A weak answer is “we coordinate with your CPA.”

Here is what a strong advisor should raise for a family like the one above:

• Withholding is not the tax. For 2026, employers may withhold federal tax on RSU income at a flat 22%, and must use 37% only on supplemental wages above $1,000,000 in the year (IRS Publication 15). For a married couple filing jointly, the 37% bracket starts at $768,700 of taxable income in 2026 (Rev. Proc. 2025-32). In a year with a large vest, if $400,000 of RSU income lands in the 37% bracket but is withheld at 22%, the federal shortfall is about $60,000 ($400,000 x 15%). That bill arrives in April, sometimes with an underpayment penalty.
• California adds more. California taxes RSU income as wages, with a top rate of 13.3% (12.3% plus a 1% tax on taxable income over $1,000,000, 2025 schedule, FTB). SDI takes another 1.3% of all wages for 2026, with no cap (EDD). California has no lower rate for long-term capital gains.
• Washington is different, and changing. Washington has no wage income tax in 2026, but taxes long-term capital gains above an annual standard deduction ($278,000 for 2025, the latest published amount) at 7%, and 9.9% on taxable gains above $1,000,000 (WA DOR). A 9.9% income tax on AGI over $1,000,000 is scheduled to start January 1, 2028 (WA DOR). An Amazon or Microsoft family planning share sales should hear this unprompted.
• Options and AMT. If you hold ISOs, ask how they model the alternative minimum tax before an exercise. For 2026 the AMT exemption for joint filers is $140,200 and starts phasing out at $1,000,000 of AMT income (Rev. Proc. 2025-32).

Follow up with: “How much of our net worth is in one company’s stock, and what is your view on reducing it?” Ask for a method, not a promise. Our tax management and retirement and employee benefits pages show the areas we review for W-2 families.

Question 4: What do you do yourself, and what do you hand to someone else?

Families at this income level usually need five kinds of help: investments, tax planning, equity compensation, insurance, and estate documents (wills, a revocable trust, and guardians for young children). Few advisors do all five in-house. Ask:

• Who prepares our tax return, and do you see it every year?
• Who drafts our estate documents, and will you check that account titles and beneficiaries match them?
• Do you sell insurance, or only review it?
• Who is our day-to-day contact, and how fast do they respond?

You are busy. The goal is one person who owns the whole picture and tells you what needs a decision this quarter. If the answer is a list of referrals with no one coordinating, you are still the project manager.

Question 5: How will you work with our family, including our kids?

Most advisors manage money for the parents. Few ask how the children will learn to handle it. For families with kids under 12, this is the question that separates portfolio management from family planning.

Ask whether the advisor helps you write down why you make major decisions: why you hold or sell company stock, how you chose guardians, why you fund a 529 the way you do. Ask how they would introduce money to your children at an age-appropriate level. As Kevin Luu puts it: “Your kids don’t need to inherit your portfolio. They need to inherit your decision-making process.”

A practical first step is a short written record of your current plan and the reasons behind it. That is what our family governance work and the FamilyKnowledge® Library are built for.

What to bring to the first meeting

• Last year’s federal and state tax returns.
• Recent pay stubs for both earners, plus your equity award summaries (grant dates, vest schedules, option strike prices).
• Statements for every account, including workplace 401(k)s and 529s.
• Existing wills, trusts and insurance policies.
• A one-page note on your goals and the decisions you are stuck on.

Red flags in the first meeting

• They cannot state their total fee in dollars.
• They recommend a product (annuity, whole life policy) before seeing your tax return.
• They talk about beating the market but not about taxes on your next vest.
• Their Form CRS or ADV shows conflicts they did not mention.

Frequently asked questions

How many advisors should we interview?

Two or three is usually enough. Use the same five questions with each, and ask each one for their total annual fee in dollars for your situation. Comparing written answers side by side makes the differences clear quickly, and it keeps you from deciding on rapport alone. Read each firm’s Form CRS before the meeting so you can spend the time on your own situation.

Should the first meeting be free?

Most firms offer a free introductory meeting. That is fine, but be aware that it is also a sales meeting. A paid first session, or an assessment with a written output, can give you something useful even if you do not hire the firm. Either way, ask what you will walk away with before you book the time.

Is a fee-only advisor always better?

Not always, but it removes one conflict: a fee-only advisor is not paid more for selling you a product. You still need to check the fee level, what is included, and whether they understand equity compensation and California or Washington taxes. Fee structure is a starting filter, not a final answer.

Next step

Write down your answers to one question before any meeting: what decision would you most like off your plate in the next 90 days? Bring it, and judge each advisor by how clearly they answer it. If you want a second opinion on your current setup, the Tax & Wealth Assessment from Bright Advisers starts there.

This is general education, and the right choice depends on your family’s full picture.

Written by

Kevin Luu

Co-Founder and Chief Learning Officer, Bright Advisers

Kevin has advised high-income W-2 tech and biotech families since 2015, and leads the education-first Age Five Family Office from Brea, California.

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